I collected the post from the front porch at lunchtime today it included a letter from the BBC.My play made the top 67 (what they call the "long list"). That's the good news. The letter goes on... "There were over 400 entries to the Award. Unfortunately due to incredibly stiff competition this year, your play did not make the final shortlist." And that, as they say, is the bad news.
On the bright side I've been invited to the drinks reception where they announce the winners, so I think I'll go. It can't hurt to mix with the great and the good, and I might even meet someone who says "Oh yes, I read yours and thought it was really good," or something.
Making the long list also meant that my efforts were read by one of the judging panel, so a reader's report was included with the letter:
"Breakages Must Be Paid For:
With a deceptive lightness of touch this is a dark cautionary tale centred around the unlikely relationship which develops between a home owner and his burglar. The script is well plotted with unexpected reversals, the first of which is the revelation that the burglar Satish, is actually a teenage girl. And so the script continues with a series of unexpected twists and reversals which demonstrate the constant shifting of power between the two central characters. The relationship the characters develop lulls us into a false sense of security in order to reveal an unexpected ending. But, the impact of the ending is somewhat undermined by the fact that the relationship is somewhat lacking in believability. Satish quickly establishes a connection with Nick, she makes herself indispensable by decorating his home and confides the hideous story of abuse which resulted in her leaving home and ending up in a care home. However the speed and ease at which Nick takes her into his confidence raises questions. Doubts need to be seeded but her survival and desire to avoid a return to the streets, a plausible motive for keeping Nick onside, is underplayed. Consequently, the twist in the tale when all is revealed to have been a scam on her part is too easily anticipated.
The initial idea of the victim turning vigilante was potentially interesting, but instead the twist is that the burglar becomes the magpie (sic) in the nest, unleashing a plan which results in her taking his home and it ultimately could have been tackled in a way that feels more fresh and original.
Whilst this is a thriller the script has a slightly unpleasant tone which creates distance from the characters as well as the fact that at times the dialogue is uncomfortably on the nose."
So there we have it. While initially it's hard to get past the disappointment of not winning, there are a number of positives to accentuate. The terms and conditions of the competition state: "The readers will select a longlist of up to 23 outstanding scripts submitted for the Award. These will then be read by judges from Radio Drama North, who will select from the scripts a final shortlist of up to 13 scripts." The size of the long list this year - at 67 entries almost three times longer than previous years - shows how tough the competition was. Also, assuming they stuck to a shortlist of 13, that means out of over 400 entries mine came somewhere between #14 and #67. Not a bad result for a first attempt.
The good things about the script stand out from the reader's notes, and the negatives could easily be addressed with a little work (and provide useful feedback as to what to avoid next time). The main messages for me are (a) that it was a story too large to tell properly in a 45-minute drama and (b) the Afternoon Play slot is even blander than I at first thought. That reference to dialogue being "uncomfortably on the nose" refers to the main character Nick's initial racist reaction to discovering his burglar is Pakistani. My intention was for Nick to move from knee-jerk unthinking racism to enlightened soul, but to do this in 45 minutes is a big ask and clearly renders some of the dialogue too harsh for tender Afternoon Play listeners' ears.
Next time? Something less contentious perhaps. Oh yes, and I must try to make it "more fresh and original." :-\
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