The sense you were born with

We had cherry pie for dessert yesterday, and very nice it was too. Morello cherry, to be precise. Aunt Bessie rarely disappoints. Having neither the time nor the inclination for home-made puds, finding a source of mass-produced grub that approximates to home-made is no mean feat, and in that department the Aunt Bessie brand is a front runner in our house.

I had to laugh, though, at the cooking instructions. I mean, it's bad enough that pie packaging and the like have to carry the legend "serving suggestion" these days, just in case customers are stupid enough to believe that the box includes, you know, a jug of custard, a bowl, a spoon and - who knows? - probably even the person holding the spoon.

But that, apparently, doesn't even scratch the surface of customers' stupidity. And I quote:
"To oven cook: Pre-heat oven and remove outer packaging. Glaze with a little egg and/or milk and sprinkle with sugar. Place product on a baking tray and bake in the centre of the oven for 45-50 minutes, until pastry is golden brown. Half way through baking, turn the foil (round not upside down) to ensure even browning. Ensure product is piping hot before serving."

The italics are mine. You can imagine the phone call:
"Aunt Bessie support line. How can I help?"
"Allo. Is that Aunt Bessie?"
"It's the Aunt Bessie support line, yes."
"I want to speak to Aunt Bessie."
"Er... well she's not here right now. My name's Janet. Can I help?"
"I got pie all over the oven."
"Oh dear."
"Yeah. I followed your instructions, an' now there's pie everywhere."
"I don't think there's anything in our cooking instructions..."
"An' 'ow am I meant to serve it up, anyway, when it's upside dahn?"
"Upside down?"
"Yeah, like it sez in the instructions."

You couldn't make it up. Well, I just did, but I'm assuming the amendment to the cooking instructions came after just such an incident. The alternative is that someone in the Aunt Bessie packaging design department actually believes the public are stupid enough to misinterpret the line "halfway through baking, turn the foil to ensure even browning." Which, in a way, is even more frightening.