Reject!

I sent a partial. It came back. Although I usually get form rejections with no requests for material (we're busy, we're not taking on new clients, it's not really what we're looking for. This last despite my carefully researching all the agents and ONLY querying the ones who say they take what I've written), this is now the third partial I've sent out which has eventually come back (months later, on account of agents being incredibly busy people) with the same message. Basically, we love the idea but we "just didn't fall in love with your writing" or words to that effect.

And they're right. Really. With the perspective of the almost three years since I finished the manuscript and the experience of those three (main) rejections in my pocket, I admit that the first 30-50% of the book is nowhere near as good as the last half.

It's not a good place to be, but it's hardly surprising. It took me seven years to write and I was a better writer at the end than I was at the beginning. Not surprising, no, but no excuse either. I finished the book, but then I supposedly revised it half-a-dozen times. But each of those six times was cosmetic surgery when what was really required was amputation. Ditch the chunks that don't work. For God's sake if you're going to have ANY parts that don't hang together very well, don't put them at the beginning! Duh!

While I'm baring my artistic soul, I should also admit that it's two stories jockeying for ascendancy. There's the headline story, and then there's the thinly-disguised personal catharsis. You probably heard that a fair percentage of first novels are at least partly autobiographical. I think this one could happily ditch that second, struggling, semi-autobiographical story, along with 20,000 words or so, and emerge leaner, fitter and with a better chance of publication.

Guess I'm going to have to grit my teeth, dust it off and rewrite that first chunk if I've to have any hope of it ever seeing the world. >sigh<