"Please call me to arrange redelivery of your parcel" read the message on the little green card I found on my return home yesterday. It was from Yodel. Never heard of them, but a quick Google reveals it's the new name for Home Delivery Network. Sod's law, really. I was only out of the house for an hour. I've been in all week.
I called the number as soon as they opened this morning. 8am. It went to voicemail.
Hello. This is the Yodel service centre at Ashton.
Well, let me stop you right there. Because surely to justify the title "service centre" you have to, you know, provide some service. And I've been calling that number all day and getting no reply, so I ain't seen much service to speak of.
All our operatives are busy dealing with other customers.
Maybe it's just because I've dialled the number over 100 times today, that I have a vision of "operatives" being just one overworked postal worker rushing between the office and the storage depot. The alternative vision jostling for ascendency in my mind's eye was of a depot full of operatives dressed in festive costume sitting around sipping sherry and eating mince pies, telling each other to "let it ring - it's Christmas!"
But if you leave a message and a contact number we'll get back to you as soon as possible.
Well, no you won't actually, because immediately after the conclusion of your message that nice lady from BT comes on to say
This mailbox is full. Please try later.
And close the call. The only option is to ring again. Which I did. Over and over.
Now I know what you're thinking. Maybe there was no-one there. But while the majority of calls went to voicemail after 30 seconds, just occasionally one would be diverted immediately, suggesting that someone was on the phone at that very minute. During the morning, such an event would spur me on to dial a few more times, thinking if there was someone at the desk right then, I stood more chance of getting through. In this case, more chance was equivalent to two or three times nothing. Still nothing.
While I ate lunch, I dialled the number constantly for over half an hour with no luck. Then, I got the engaged tone. Back came the nice BT lady to advise me (in case I didn't recognise the engaged tone which, you know, hasn't changed for at least fifty years):
The number you have dialled is busy. To use ring back, key 5 now.
Yes! Ring back! Great idea. I keyed 5.
Ring back is not available on this number.
Well why did you offer it to me then you utter arse?
In sheer frustration I Googled "yodel couriers". I had typed only half of "couriers" when the second suggestion in the list changed to "yodel couriers complaints". Oh dear - that doesn't look good. I followed the first link, to a review site.
First time I've ever known a company to have an average of 1 star (yes, out of 5) after 1203 reviews. That's a pretty impressive indictment. I'm surprised any online retailer still uses them.
My package turned up around 3pm. I never did get through to the "service" centre.
"Ah, Yodel!" I cried as the courier handed over his ruggedised tablet for me to sign. "I've been trying to call your depot all day."
He looked sheepish.
"Wasting your time there, mate."
Tell me about it.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
*koff* that's who G. works for. They used to be DHL. He actually works for the complaints call centre. I wonder if the phone number on the card was wrong because the earliest shift there starts at 8. Right now he's not on the phones, he's doing tracing. He'd agree with you though. They're not a great company but i do find it odd you couldn't get through eventually.
Post a Comment