100TWC - Day 73: Patience

I can wait.

How long have I been saying that to myself? Let's see... I first saw her the day they moved in. That was so long ago, and I was so young, that I don't even remember when it was. I can't pretend it was love at first sight. I don't even know if I believe in that, but even if I did I don't think I fell in love with her then. If I was too young to remember, I guess you could say I was too young to fall in love too.

But later, maybe a few months later, maybe the next summer -- the one after they moved in just before Christmas -- when I saw her playing in the garden. Then. Then I fell in love with her. Just something about the way her bright blonde curly hair bounced around her face, catching the light. Or -- since I've mentioned the light -- the way it shone through her thin summer dress and I could see the outline of her legs. I didn't know about the significance of private places, back then, that's how young I was. Didn't know that legs were something boys, when they start trying to be men, would rave over. Shape of them and length of them and how they moved. Back then I was just fascinated by the sway of that translucent cotton dress. It moved so that I thought there was something underneath it. A pet dog, or something. But it was just the air and her.

And her voice. She was so young it was really still only an ordinary girl's voice, but it sounded different to me. Deeper. Smoother. It was still a few years before I learned the word "mellifluous" but that's how I'd describe it now. At night, when I was laying on my back trying to get to sleep, I would replay things she'd said to me in the garden that afternoon. It would make my head tingle. Sometimes I got it tingling so strong I thought it would explode. With my eyes closed I could sometimes see stars, it was tingling so bad.

I never saw her at school. Because her family had moved in so long after mine, she went to the new junior school while I was at the old one. She was the year below me anyway so I guess I wouldn't have seen much of her even if we'd gone to the same place, but at least we would've been able to walk home together. I would have loved that. We could have held hands and I would have picked daisies for her and everything. And then when we went to big school, they were different too. Streaming they called it, or something. Anyway just like before she went to the new school and I went to the old one. I guess it's always been like that -- she does new stuff and I do old stuff. I collect stamps; she designs clothes. I watch old black & white movies, on the TV; she only watches new ones, at the cinema. I go to ceilidhs at school; she goes to parties with her cool friends.

But I know she'll notice me one day. Suddenly I'll be more than just the boy next door. It'll be like she's woken up from a dream, one where we were just friends. Just kids playing in the garden or going to the swings. When she wakes up we'll be grown up and ready to play grown up games. Only she'd better wake up soon, because we're pretty much grown up already, and she hasn't seen me yet. You know what I mean by "seen me," right? I mean noticed me. In that way. Realised that I'm the one for her, just like I've known she's the one for me. Right from back then, that first summer.

My parents used to say I was too young to understand what love really is. But they're the ones who don't understand. Just because they didn't get together until they were really old, like 20 or something, doesn't mean it can't happen for other people like that. Like me. I've known all along and I've never changed my mind. My Mum says stuff like, "You wait. You'll find someone one day and you'll forget all about April. You'll wonder what you ever saw in her."

She's mad, my Mum. I know what I see in her. It's not just her hair, her eyes, her legs and all that. I see her. Underneath. I know what she's really like. What she's thinking. And it's golden. Her heart is pure gold and I know I'll never find anyone like that anywhere ever again, no matter what my stupid Mum says.

'Course I can't tell anyone. Crikey, can you imagine? My mates would never let me live it down. We're not supposed to be serious about girls. Not supposed to even think stuff like "her heart is pure gold." They'd never stop laughing if they heard me say that. Laughing at me that is. They do a lot of laughing at people, my mates, so you have to be careful. That's all they think girls are good for: having a laugh. None of them take it seriously. But it's like for life, isn't it? Finding the right girl?

Which is why I can wait. As long as it takes. She's worth it.