100TWC - Day 79: Illogical

Zadi held a cut glass vase in her trembling hand.

"I mean it Ralf!"
"Calm down!"
"Calm down? Damn you!" She cocked her arm, ready to throw. Her cheeks glistened with new tears. "How can I be calm?"
"Just put the glass down. Please. It's your favourite. You don't want to smash it."
"I want to smash something!" she sobbed.
"That's just your emotions talking. Remember you said--"
"Oh God! It doesn't matter what I said! It's how I felt. How I still feel."
"Look, I'm sorry I was late, I couldn't help it."
"You never put me first. Never! You knew it was a special night."
"And I've said I'm sorry."
"What good's that? The dinner's ruined. It's all... so..."
"Can you just put the vase down Zee?"

Zadi looked at the glass, as if she couldn't remember picking it up. She turned it over in her hand, hardly recognising it. It was her favourite, Ralf had said. She wondered why.

"We'll only have to clean the mess up," Ralf prompted.
"There's a lot more mess to clean up than a bit of broken glass," Zadi replied, sniffing back more tears. She set the vase down and rounded on him again. "Don't think this means I've forgiven you! You still haven't explained why you were late."
"It was a work thing."
"Oh, yes. A work thing. Well then, that's all I need to know isn't it? A work thing. That'll keep her quiet. She knows I never say much about work."
"You know I can't."
"No! I don't know that! You say that, but I don't know it!"
"Why would I lie about it?"
"Ha! That's the question isn't it?"
"Zade. This doesn't make sense."
"For Christ's sake Ralf! None of it makes any sense! This isn't one of your puzzles. You can't tidily tick the boxes until it's solved. This is real life! Real feelings. It's about people, not things. Not logic."
"I--"
"Oh, don't bother. I know you don't really understand."
"No, I do--"
"No you don't! Have you ever really felt anything?"
"Don't get yourself all worked up again."
"Argh!" she screamed, moving back toward the vase and then thinking better of it. "No. I don't want to break anything. Except maybe your stupid stubborn neck."
"How can my neck be--"
"Tell me why you were late!"
"I told you, it was a--"
"The real reason. Not some vague work thing."
"You know I'm not allowed to talk about work."
"Who do you think I'm going to tell? You think I'm some kind of spy?"
"No of course not."
"Well then?"
"It doesn't matter whether you tell anyone or not."
"So you think I might?" she bristled again.
"No! That's not the point."
"I think it's exactly the point."
"Well the Government doesn't see it that way."
"Who's 'the Government'? You talk about them like it's one man. Watching every move you make."
"What I mean is, once you've signed the Official Secrets Act, then just telling anyone about anything, when they don't need to know, is an offence."
"I find that offensive, if you must know. If you can't trust your own wife, who can you trust?"
"It's not a question of trust."
"Yes it is. Because if you don't tell me what you were really doing that was so important you had to miss one of the most special nights of our year, how can I trust you?"
"No, you don't understand. I meant--"
"I know exactly what you meant."
"No, I don't think you do."
"Oh, so I'm stupid now too, am I? Stupid and untrustworthy. What the hell are you doing still married to me then? Thick and loose-lipped. Hardly much of a catch is it? You could do so much better for yourself."
"Zade, please. You know I don't want anyone else."
"You've a funny way of showing it."
"I can't win this can I?"
"Oh! So it IS about winning and losing then?"
"No! I meant--"
"Yes, please do explain what you meant. Because you're good at saying one thing and meaning another. You say 'a work thing' when you mean 'I can't be bothered to come home'. You say 'it's your favourite' when you mean 'I don't want to spend the next half an hour sweeping up broken glass'. I can't believe anything you say. It's all like something out of Orwell. Double-speak, or--"
"Double think."
"Why am I not surprised you knew that. You work in the fucking Ministry of Truth as it is."
"It's the Ministry of Defence."
"It was a JOKE Ralf! Christ have things got that bad you can't even recognise a joke now?"

[ this is a companion piece to "Only Human" which appears next in the writing challenge - on Day 80 ]