Monday, October 20, 2008

Caution! Stupid things are stupid!

As you may have gathered, we had a bit of a social weekend here at Digger Towers*.

With only one functioning spare room, having my darling daughters here at the same time as we're putting mates up wasn't an option until recently, and we'd normally have had to juggle their visits around other social activities. This was a sorry state of affairs. Not only did it mean messing them about, and occasionally not seeing as much of them as we like to, but also they missed out on the socialising!

The solution came in the shape of a new addition to the family: a ReadyBed®.

One of the purchases I made with points earned from the rewards system at work. It includes an inflatable double mattress with an attached double sleeping bag, and I had more than enough points to invest in an electric pump to inflate it with. I don't have anywhere near enough puff for that kind of shenanigans these days.

Blythe reports that it's very comfy, but could we please turn the computers off overnight? Unfortunately there's nothing we can do about the neon-bright blue flashes that emanate from the PIR detector every time she turns over.

But the point of this post, and the reason for the title, is to pass on the laughs I had reading the instruction leaflets. First, the bed:

CAUTION! The mattress is not a life saving device.

Glad we got that cleared up. I was planning on leaving it in the boot permanently in case of emergencies. But the hilarity was only just beginning. Apparently, the electric pump is potentially even more dangerous:

WARNING! This appliance is not intended for use by persons (including children) with reduced physical, sensory, or mental capabilities.

Reduced compared with what? I'm not as physical as David Beckham. I don't have the mental capacity of Stephen Hawking. I'm nowhere near as sensitive as Nikki. That's it. She'll have to inflate the mattress from now on. Of the two of us, she's the one with the least reduced capabilities.

*Actually we have a much more alliterative name for them, but news of that will have to wait until the new website's ready.


Tvor said...

New website? Did i miss something?

I expect they mean you can't use the mattress as a floatation device to save your life should you find yourself drowning while out camping in the wilderness somewhere.

Gloria Horsehound said...

My eyes are old so forgive me if I make a complete plank of myself with this question...

Is that a Casio Organ
in the bottom right of the picture?
Thank you.

Digger said...

I can understand your confusion Glo, but no, it's an Evolution USB-connected keyboard. We don't like to use the word "organ" around here.

And teev - the chances of me camping anywhere other than in a mate's spare room render the chances of drowning extremely slim, unless global warming turns out to be a lot more serious that we supposed.

Gloria Horsehound said...

Thank you. Organs can be bad...organs.