The language of love

Yesterday, after Phil & Vicky had left, we caught up with all the soaps we'd missed while I was away last week. As a result I'm still thinking about Valentine's Day, which was at the heart of many storylines last week: some people trying to ignore it because it's a rip-off; some because they're just too selfish to do anything nice for their partners; others making a really special effort (and some of those being rebuffed); people on the periphery, without partners, feeling left out - the way many people feel at Christmas when the whole world seems to be celebrating.

So I thought it would be a good time to post this love test that I found on the blog of a friend of a friend. It lets you check if you're speaking the same love language as your beau or belle. Haha! Just had a funny thought about that. Yanno when you accidentally overhear people making out?Is that the sound of beau belles?

Anyway, I digress. Not sure I agree with the "love tank" theory expressed below, although if it means you have to feel good about yourself to be in your best giving state I couldn't argue with that. If you have aching ankles, a headache, you've been put upon all day, everything's gone wrong and you just found out you have an important deadline you'd totally forgotten (or not been told) about, that's probably not such a good time for your partner to expect to be serenaded or given a foot massage.

I'm not particularly surprised by my results. I already knew time together and touching were at the top of my list. No, it doesn't have to be that kind of touching! A tender touch when you least expect and most need it can often be enough to move you to tears.

By a strange coincidence when we were in HMV on Saturday I bought a remastered CD of one of my favourite bands of all time - Caravan. This was a continuation of the (slow!) process of replacing my vinyl collection and the first Caravan CD I'd bought, so it was a hard choice which album to go for. In the end I plumped (obscure Caravan reference there for other fans) for Waterloo Lily, primarily because it contains one of the most evocative lyrics of my youth. The first two verses of The Love In Your Eye:

In dreams of you I wish a song on everyone
A gift of love to fill your eyes, to fill your eyes
And if I turn your head awhile, my heart will sing
Thunder songs of love to make you smile

I've travelled far in search of things I didn't know
I could have found as well at home as in the skies
There's so much time misspent in dreams of wealth and fame
When all you need is love in your eye

(Lyrics by Pye Hastings). Those words echo across the years to me now. Now that I've spent the thirty-odd years in between travelling far in search of things I didn't know, and which I could as easily have found at home. At least I remembered the last part, and didn't waste my time on dreams of wealth and fame. Here are my results in the love language test, and a link for you to take it for yourselves:

The Five Love Languages

My primary love language is probably
Quality Time
with a secondary love language being
Physical Touch.

Complete set of results

Quality Time: 10
Physical Touch: 9
Words of Affirmation: 7
Acts of Service: 4
Receiving Gifts: 0

Information

Unhappiness in relationships, according to Dr. Gary Chapman, is often due to the fact that we speak different love languages. Sometimes we don't understand our partner's requirements, or even our own. We all have a "love tank" that needs to be filled in order for us to express love to others, but there are different means by which our tank can be filled, and there are different ways that we can express love to others.

Take the quiz