Proud to be an a**ehole

Harking back to failures of process for a moment and how everyone's job, no matter how boring and trivial, is important in the overall scheme of things, I was reminded of this (very) old joke:

One day the different parts of the body were having an argument to see which should be in charge.

The brain said, "I do all the thinking so I'm the most important and I should be in charge."

The eyes said, "We see everything and let the rest of you know where we are, so we're the most important and we should be in charge."

The hands said, "Without us we wouldn't be able to pick anything up or move anything. So we're the most important and we should be in charge."

The stomach said, "I turn the food we eat into energy for the rest of you. Without me, we'd starve. So I'm the most important and I should be in charge."

The legs said, "Without us we wouldn't be able to move anywhere. So we're the most important and we should be in charge."

Then the arsehole said, "I think I should be in charge."

All the rest of the body parts laughed and snorted. They said, "YOU?!? You don't do anything! You're not important! You can't be in charge."

So the arsehole closed up.

After a few days, the legs were all wobbly, the stomach was all queasy, the hands were all shaky, the eyes were all watery, and the brain was all cloudy.

They all agreed that they couldn't take any more of this and they should put the arsehole in charge.

OK, this is a joke, right? So the (rather predictable) punchline is that the moral of the story is you don't have to be the most important to be in charge, just an arsehole. But I haven't shared that with you to knock managers. I have a different point, which is also made by the story: that every part of the body, just like every part of society, is as important as any other part.

Sure, we can't manage without doctors, nurses, teachers, scientists, engineers and architects. But "society" would also grind to a halt without undertakers, refuse collectors, shop workers, slaughterhousemen and plumbers. A lack of properly trained and supervised cleaners has led to our hospitals being filled with deadly MRSA and C. difficile. When track inspectors don't work properly, trains crash and people die. When that 1,000th cell sample isn't checked properly and someone with cancer is mistakenly given the all-clear, people die. When simple sanitary conditions aren't maintained, infection spreads, confidence is lost in the business, and people lose their livelihoods.

It doesn't matter what your job is, we all rely on you doing it to the best of your ability.