The Outlaws #4 - Mug Shot

So the saga of the missing passport trundles on, and today we were finally able to get through to someone at Canada House and find out what the score is. The only recourse is to fill in a passport application form and take it, in person, to Canada House (Trafalgar Square, London) along with the requisite fee and the right sort of passport photo.

I well remember the kind of stringent requirements the Canadian Government places on passport photos. Unlike most of the rest of the world (I guess) it's not enough for them that you walk into one of those automated photo booths and spend a couple of quid sitting on a stool and posing while the machine flashes and churns and grinds away and eventually spits out four photos on a strip of foul chemical-smelling photo paper that bear a passing resemblance to you on a bad day. Oh, no.

For Canada the photos have to be an exact size. The background has to be a particular colour. The border has to be exactly x millimeters. Your eyes have to be exactly at "this" position on the Y dimension of the photo. And so it goes on. You thought the EU was anal? Try dealing with the Canadian Government.

So Nikki took Shirley into town, to the only photographer who is authorised to take Canadian Government Photographs, while I busied myself trying to find some cheap rail tickets to London for tomorrow. I did find some, but we'd agreed that it was pointless booking them until we were certain they could get the photos done, by which time the booking threshold had passed and we had to buy regular tickets at great expense. The trouble is, Canada House is only open for passport applications between 9.30 and 1.30, and we have no idea how busy they'll be. Shirley and Nikki need to be there at opening time, which means travelling down on a "peak time" service. Even then, there's no guarantee they'll be seen before 1.30.

Stress levels today were mighty high, I have to tell you. Never have I been more glad to sink a couple of pints in the Southern before coming home for dinner. And never have I been so incredulous at the poor support for citizens provided by the embassy of one of the world's largest countries.