I have done 53 stupid things

Been a dearth of "Friday Fives" recently, so here's an alternative bit of Friday fun. I don't usually do these, but I found this on my younger daughter's blog and I don't mind making a fool of meself, so here goes.

Level 1.
[X] Said LOL out loud. (Not until you two started!)
[] Forgotten your own age.
[] Tried to lick your elbow.
Total so far: 1

Level 2.
[] Said the wrong name in bed. (Came close, but covered it up with an authentic-sounding moan)
[X] Had unprotected sex.
[X] Hurt yourself sexing.
[] Sexed yourself hurting.
Total so far: 3

Level 3.
[] Licked your toe.
[] Licked a frozen pole.
[] Licked a dog bone.
[] Licked a dog.
Total so far: 3

Level 4.
[] Drank old milk.
[] Drank milk right from a cow.
[] Ever thought chocolate milk came from brown cows.
[] Drank Qwik right from the brown cow.
[] Pushed a cow over.
Total so far: 3

Level 5.
[] Eaten bugs.
[] Eaten garbage.
[X] Eaten food off the floor after five seconds. (Umm...chewing gum. Off the pavement. When it had a footprint on it)
[] Eaten a booger.
Total so far: 4

Level 6.
[X] Been in a five-seater car with more than seven people. (Easy. I've been in a four-seater car with 10 people. And I was driving)
[] Been in a seven-seater van with over twelve people.
[X] Driven in a seven-seater van by yourself.
[X] Driven a tricycle past the age of three.
[X] Driven yourself to the wrong house.
Total so far: 8

Level 7.
[] Put dirty dishes in the fridge.
[] Put bowls of food in the dishwasher.
[] Put a full glass of juice in the cupboard.
[] Put salt in your coffee.
[] Dropped the cap into the glass you were drinking from.
Total so far: 8

Level 8.
[] Jumped over a car.
[X] Jumped out of a moving car. (It was a bus actually)
[] Jumped into a thorny bush on purpose.
[] Jumped off a bridge.
[X] Jumped off your house. (Outhouse, but still counts :o))
Total so far: 10

Level 9.
[] Forgotten where you live.
[] Forgotten your own birthday.
[X] Forgotten to zip up in the morning.
Total so far: 11

Level 10.
[X] Walked into a pole.
[X] Walked into a wall.
[X] Walked into someone.
[X] Walked into a parked car.
Total so far: 15

Level 11.
[] Won a burping contest.
[] Burped the alphabet.
[] Burped just to break the silence.
[] Burped too hard and thrown up.
Total so far: 15

Level 12.
[X] Eaten a whole bag of chips.
[X] Eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night. (One night? One helping! :o))
[X] Eaten a whole pizza so no one else could have a slice.
Total so far: 18

Level 13.
[X] Been caught picking your nose.
[X] Been caught going to the bathroom outside.
[] Been caught with your pants down.
[X] Been caught having sex.
[] Been caught sexing yourself.
Total so far: 21

Level 14.
[X] Shoved something up your nose.
[X] Picked your nose and studied what came out.
[X] Picked your nose till it bled.
[] Let your nose bleed to see the awesome blood all over you.
[] Blew your nose so goddamn hard your whole body hurt.
Total so far: 24

Level 15.
[X] Told a lie.
[X] Been caught in a lie.
[X] Lied to cover a lie.
[X] Lied to cover your ass.
[] Lied to an undercover hooker cop.
Total so far: 28

Level 16.
[X] Laughed at someone in pain.
[X] Laughed too loud and embarrassed yourself.
[] Laughed at a funeral.
[] Laughed so hard you pissed yourself.
Total so far: 30

Level 17.
[X] Written a letter to Santa Claus.
[] Believed in Santa past the age of eight.
[] Believed your folks when they said that a bunny laid chocolate eggs in the house.
[] Believed you were NEVER too old for trick-or-treating.
Total so far: 31

Level 18.
[] Thrown a party for yourself.
[] Thrown a ball at yourself.
[] Thrown up on yourself.
[X] Thrown a ball at a wall that returned directly to your crotch.
[X] Thrown a super ball in the house and taken it right in the face.
Total so far: 33

Level 19.
[X] Pretended to know what you're doing. (This is my job)
[X] Pretended you were hot shit.
[X] Pretended you weren't listening.
[] Pretended you were Spider-Man.
Total so far: 36

Level 20.
[X] Fell on the sidewalk. (We call them pavements or footpaths over here)
[X] Fell down the stairs.
[] Fell UP the stairs.
[] Went sledding down the stairs.
Total so far: 38

Level 21.
[] Tried to do a really cool back flip...
[] And busted your ass.
[] Tried to do a really cool cartwheel...
[] And didn't lift your feet, retard.
Total so far: 38

Level 22.
[X] Eaten food that you just kind of... found.
[] Eaten the mystery food in the back of the fridge.
[] Eaten something nasty to get a laugh.
[] Cried when no one laughed.
Total so far: 39

Level 23.
[X] Cried when you hurt yourself. (This is the one. Why is this stupid?)
[X] Cried when you didn't get your way. (I was like, 39, so that was perfectly OK)
[] Cried over spilled milk.
[] Cried after sex.
Total so far: 41

Level 24.
[X] Gone swimming naked.
[] Gone swimming in a stranger's pool.
[] Gone swimming with a hose in the yard. (Huh?)
[] Gone swimming in a stank-ass pond.
[] Gone swimming in the bathtub like a champ.
Total so far: 42

Level 25.
[X] Ridden a pony.
[X] Ridden a donkey.
[] Ridden a lawnmower pretending it was an awesome racecar.
[] Ridden a shovel pretending it was an awesome spaceship.
[] Ridden the dog.
Total so far: 44

Level 26.
[] Locked yourself out of your house.
[X] Locked yourself out of your car.
[] Locked yourself IN the car.
[] Trapped yourself in a child's plastic house.
[] Tangled yourself up in a rope.
[] Tangled yourself up in a hose.
[] Locked yourself in the trunk WITH the keys.
Total so far: 45

Level 27.
[X] Overcooked a fancy meal.
[] Overcooked Easy MAC.
[] Overcooked a Pop-Tart.
[] Overcooked a tiny plastic army man.
[X] Overcooked yourself at the beach. (Klingon Head lives!!!)
Total so far: 47

Level 28.
[X] Bitten plastic fruit.
[X] Bitten into something too hard and hurt your teeth.
[X] Bitten down before you got the fork into your mouth.
[] Lifted an empty soda you thought was full, thereby flinging it.
[X] Overcompensated an extra step in the stairs that wasn't there.
Total so far: 51

Level 29.
[X] Mistaken a stranger for a family member and blabbed at them.
[X] Mistaken a man for a woman or vice-versa.
[] Shaved your eyebrows.
[] Poked yourself in the eye with safety goggles! Sweet irony.

TOTAL: 53
(There's definitely some blog posts in there!)