Waffles

What if John Lennon had sung "and so this is New Year...and what have you done?"

We were invited to three New Year's Eve parties this year, and what did we do? Stayed home and watched Babylon 5. Sorry to everyone who really wanted us to be there, but really, in my heart of hearts, I believe what they said on EastEnders tonight. New Year's Eve parties are for single people. They actually said sad single people, but I don't think it's necessary to be sad, only to hold out a hope for that exciting midnight kiss from someone you've been wanting to put your arms around for a long time but didn't have the courage, excuse, or opportunity.

When you're happy with your own company and your chosen partner, you don't particularly feel like partying, and there's no-one else you've got your eye on, staying home isn't a cop out. It's the real thing. The date doesn't matter. It's only a calendar event. And when midnight comes around, that person you want to put your arms around is right there with you already.

Does that sound like "bah, humbug?" I guess it might. But even when I was single and "celebrating" New Year, I never really felt it. Never felt part of it. I wrote a poem about New Year once, although for some reason I didn't put it up on my poetry pages. Christmas is my favourite time of year, but New Year, only a week later, is probably my least favourite. Part of that is probably because it's when the holiday runs out. I hate that feeling that you get as the time ticks away - the feeling that it's passing ever more quickly and you're struggling to hang on to the last few precious days, then hours, then minutes of holiday. Right now, three minutes past eleven on January 1, when I'm back in work in less than ten hours, I'm wishing I'd booked the rest of the week off.

Part of it is that I feel New Year should be a time for philosophy and reflection, but there's precious little space for that when the horns are hooting, the party is in full swing and, in recent years with increasing volume and duration, the fireworks are exploding all over the place. I never remember fireworks being a big part of New Year in the UK until 2000. Now it's unavoidable. Bah, humbug.

My mate Colleen Patrick thinks New Year is a time for reflection, renewal and rebirth. My mate Diane takes a philospohical approach and says simply that 2008 will have good stuff and bad stuff. Can't argue with that. As for renewal, I'm reminded of a time when I stood and watched the sun rise on a new decade. January 1, 1980, when I spent New Year in the Lakes and got up at 5am to drive out to the hill overlooking Derwent Water with the young man who, later that year, was to become my brother-in-law. Everyone thought we were mad - maybe he did too, a little - but that was one time I really did feel the New Year. Standing freezing our rocks off in the middle of a field in the dark, watching the rosy glow slowly brightening on the horizon, the mist parting and the first knife-edge of brilliant sun turning the dark sky to azure blue, I really felt I was part of the start of something. Well, in a funny way I was right. By the end of that decade (little did I know!) I would be married, divorced, married again, and have a daughter almost one year old. I'd have moved to a new department, made a name for myself and used it as a springboard for two further changes of career, as well as moving house 5 times.

Things have hardly been less hectic since. And now, here I am. Almost thirty years later (damn it, I'm going to invent a new tag to use on here every time I write "thirty years" - remember I started to worry about this over here?) and looking out on the start of another new year. OK it's not a new decade. Not yet. But still, it's daunting. Lots to do. Lots remaining undone that I've made a silent promise to myself to get done in the next twelve months. I've mentioned what CP and Diane say about New Year, but I haven't told you the best part. The most sensible part. Where do I look when I want to make sense of it all? To Nikki. She says no-one needs to wait for New Year to start over. Every day is the start of a new year. It's only that there's one calendar day - today - with the right number. That hackneyed phrase "tomorrow is the first day of the rest of your life" may be well-worn but it's also true. While you're still breathing, you can still make a difference. So while for most people, tomorrow will only be the second of January, for me it will also be the new year.